The Acme Trading Company was founded in 1874 by my great-grandfather, Jens Henrik Acme, who began his career as an itinerant peddler of pebbles and paddles in Copenhagen. My great-grandfather noticed that buyers often preferred heavier items to lighter ones, believing that large, heavy objects were somehow intrinsically higher in quality. This principle still guides our firm today. Though our firm is known today as Acme Traditionals, you will find in our catalog a selection of items that might have pleased my great grandfather. Indeed, many of them were sold by him, and were returned by customers unaware of the sheer weight of their purchases. (One customer related an apocryphal story of a collapsed floor after installing our Emu Egg Timer.) Nevertheless, we are committed to providing you the heaviest products possible. Should any item in our catalog appeal to you, you are welcome to buy it. My daughter informs me that the products we sell are known as "Retro", and that a new craze for things of this nature accounts for our puzzling increase in sales last year, after fifty-two years of slow decline. Though the term "Retro" scarcely seems a desirable appellation, we are willing to bear it if you, our customer, so desire. With warm personal regards to you and your family, I remain Your humble servant, Rufus P. Turnstile In the unlikely event that you haven't realized it yet, this site is a work of fiction. We made it to show what you can do with Yahoo! Store. If you already had the text and images, you could create this site in about an hour.